#NOPE #NOPE NOPE NOPE #God but he thinks these things about himself #in the darkest corners of his mind these are all his words #these are all his fears and accusations #he thinks he killed his mother #he thinks that if he doesn’t solve this case his dad’s going to drown in liquor #and then Stiles will lose him too #he thinks all of those things and he’s still walking around buying presents and trying to patch up Scott’s relationship #I just #I don’t even #how am I supposed to function when Stiles is this sad?
And people wonder why Stiles’s circle is so small and he’s so protective of his relationship with Scott and why he’ll do anything for him and why he’s still in this world. And people wonder why he protects himself with sarcasm and caustic comments and jokes and why he pines after an unattainable person. It’s because he doesn’t want to lose anyone, he doesn’t want the people he loves to hate him and he doesn’t want to “kill” anyone else. He thinks that being around people will kill them, this is his relationship with love. He’s so desperate for things to be okay that he shoves everything down deep.
But the truth is is that Stiles didn’t have anything to do with his mom’s death, of course he didn’t. And that his dad loves him more than anything and that Scott would do anything for him and that tons of people would love to be in Stiles’s circle if only he would acknowledge them (Erica) or trust him.
And what’s great is that Stiles is such a good judge of character (MATT) and has insight into people (EVERYONE) and he could be such a light and SPARK in people’s lives. If he would only open up.